Ugh. But also: ha

It's time for the 2017 Literary Bad Sex Awards, and you can see the shortlisted entries here. They're all pretty painful, but my favorites are the ones that obviously aspire to achieve something impressive on the sexual and artistic fronts, and fail equally at both:

"Memories of these previous encounters became distant, remote, erased once I got down to brass tacks with Jon de Lee.

With Jon it was communication, a dialogue between two bodies, electric impulses transmitted over wires of flesh and bone. Words one cannot speak, words that can only be heard. Skin that became skin that became skin anew.

We made love and we had sex and we had sex and we made love. But reader, again, I implore. Mistake me not. I am not your Pollyanna, I am not your sweet princess. We fucked, we fucked, we fucked, we fucked, we fucked, we fucked.

From The Future Won’t Be Long, by Jarett Kobek